Lecturer: Rev Dr Tony Lim
Venue: On Campus
Time: Thursday, 9.00 am – 12.00 pm
3 units
COURSE DESCRIPTION
This course lays down the basic theological foundation and pillars of marital and family life. The course seeks to lay down a biblically strong foundation to understand marriage and family. It builds on the foundation to explore how to build a strong marriage. Finally, it explores ways in building a strong family.
The course will further explore the traits and dynamics of strong and lasting marriages and families. Particular attention will be placed on our family of origins (Family Tree And History). It ends by exploring how to take care of our ageing parents when they can no longer care for themselves.
COURSE OBJECTIVE
At the end of the course, students will have a basic Christian understanding of marriage and family, so that they can provide sound pastoral counsel to their flock who are experiencing problems and conflicts in their marriages and families.
COURSE OUTLINE
- Building Strong Foundations
- A biblical theology of the family
- OT Teachings on the family – What is the ideal family unit?
- NT Teachings on the family – Ephesians 5
- A theology of marriage – Stott’s definition of marriage, the marriage covenant, headship and submission, missional focus, crucifixion audit
- A theology of grand-parenting and inter-generational faith
- See Michael and Michelle Anthony’s A Therology of Family Ministries, (2011), Academic Books.
- Building the Marriage
- The individuals in a marriage
- Family Tree and family of origins
- Meyer Briggs Temperamental tests
- The importance of values
- Communication and intimacy
- Conflict resolutions
- handling anger
- Use of ‘I’ and not ‘you’
- Guard your marriage
- Infidelity
- Divorce and remarriage
- Building the Family
- Raising responsible children – A brave new world – raising children in the age of the internet, parent as life coaches (Loving the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength)
- Punishment & discipline, choices & consequences
- The turbulent teens (The challenge of raising adolescents)
- Dual-Career families
- Who is the primary care-giver, especially to children who are aged 5 and below?
- Solutions that work
- Transgender issues -trends in the West, hormone suppression during puberty
- Harvesting the gift and gifts of our seniors – taking care of our ageing parents
COURSE REQUIREMENTS
Reflection Paper (10%)
Read The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller. From your reading, you are to draw (new and/or refreshing) insights and implications on marriage that is both meaningful and useful to you (as a married person or in preparation for the future) as well as for the ministry. 500-600 words.
Family Tree & History (30%)
In this paper, you are to trace and reflect on your family upbringing and relationships and see how or in what ways they have influenced you to be what you are and your perception of marriage. If you are married, you could also trace how these have affected or influenced you in your experience of marriage. 800-1000 words.
Research Paper (50%)
Write on any aspect of marriage / family life that is of interest to you and of relevance to modern society. E.g. dual-career families, fathering, divorce, etc. Topics should be as specific as possible, e.g., effects of divorce on boys, mother-daughter relationships, marital depression, etc. 2500-3000 words.
Class Participation (10%)
Selected Bibliography
Anderson, Neil T. and Mylander Charles. The Christ-Centered Marriage: Discovering And Enjoying Your Freedom in Christ Together. Chennai, Zion Printers & Publishers, 2005.
Ash, Christopher. Married for God: Making Your Marriage the Best it can be. England, Inter Varsity Press, 2007.
Boehi, David, Nelson, Brent, Schulte, Jeff and Shadrach, Lloyd, Rainey, Dennis (Ed.). Preparing for Marriage: The Complete Guide to Help you Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love. California, Gospel Light Publisher, 1997.
Browning, Don S. Marriage and Modernization: How Globalization Threatens Marriage and What to Do about It. U.K., William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2003.
Campbell, Ken M. (Ed.) Marriage and Family in the Biblical World. Illinois, Inter Varsity Press, 2003.
Carder, Dave. Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage. Chicago, Northfield Publishing, 2008.
Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago, Northfield Publishing, 1995.
Coleman, William L. Before The Ring. Michigan, Discovery House Publishers, 2019.
Cornes, Andrew. Divorce & Marriage: Biblical Principles & Pastoral Practice. Michigan, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1993.
Crabb, Larry, Leman, Kevin, Parrott, Les and Leslie, Smalley, Gary, Tirabssi, Becky and Roger, and Warren Clark. Bring Home the Joy. Grand Rapids: Michigan, Zondervan Publishing House, 1998.
Dayton, Howard. Money and Marriage GOD’S WAY. Chicago, Moody Publishers, 2009.
Deming, Will. Paul on Marriage & Celibacy: The Hellenistic Background of 1 Corinthians 7, 2nd Ed. Michigan, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2004.
Eggerichs, Emerson. The Love She Most Desires: Love & Respect, The Respect He Desperately Needs. Tennesee, Thomas Nelson, 2004.
Garland, Diana R. Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide. 2nd Ed. Illinois, Inter Varsity Press, 2012.
Glass, Shirley P. and Staeheli, Jean Coppock. Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity. New York, Free Press, 2003.
Harley, Willard F. Jr. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage. Michigan, Revell, 2011.
Harley, Willard F. Jr. Love Busters: Overcoming the habits That Destroy Romantic Love. 2nd Ed. USA, Fleming H. Revell, 2001.
Hetherington, E. Mavis and Kelly, John. For Better or For Worse: Divorced Reconsidered. New York, W.W. Norton & Company, 2003.
Hoehner, Harold W. Ephesians. Michigan, Baker Academic, 2004.
Holeman, Virginia Todd. Reconcilable Differences: Hope And Healing For Troubled Marriages. Illinois, Intervarsity Press, 2004.
Keller, Timothy and Keller, Kathy. The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God. Petaling Jaya, PVM Harvest Resources, 2011.
Kennedy, Nancy. When He Doesn’t Believe: Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith. Colorado, Water Brook Press, 2006.
Lim, Shek Eng and Teresa. Can Two Walk Together: Issues Christians Struggle With. Petaling Jaya, Kairos Research Centre Sdn Bhd, 2005.
Markman, Howard J. Stanley, Scott M. and Blumberg, Susan L. Fighting for Your Marriage: A Deluxe Revised Edition of the Classic Best Seller for Enhancing Marriage and Preventing Divorce. 3rd Ed. California, Jossey-Bass, 2010.
Roseberg, Gary and Barbara. 40 Unforgettable Dates with your Mate. Illinois, Tyndale Publishers, 2002.
Roseberg, Gary and Barbara. Divorce-Proof your Marriage: 6 Secrets to a Forever Marriage. Colorado, Tyndale, 2002.
Sell, M. Charles. Family Ministry. Grand Rapids: Michigan, Zondervan Publishing House, 1995.
Spencer, William and Aida. MARRIAGE at the CROSSROADS: Couples in Conversation About Discipleship Gender Roles, Decision Making and Intimacy. Illinois, Inter Varsity Press, 2009.
Thomas, Gary. Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands. Grand Rapids: Michigan, Zondervan Publishing House, 2006.
Vernick, Leslie. How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong. Colorado, Water Book Press, 2001.
Wangerin, Walter. As For Me & My House: Creating Your Marriage to Last. Nashville, Thomas Nelson, 1990.
Weiner-Davis, Michele. A Step-By-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again: Divorce Busting. New York, Fireside (Simon & Schuster), 1993
Witte, John Jr. and Kingdon, Robert M. Sex, Marriage, And Family in John Calvin’s Geneva. Vol. 1. Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage. U.K., William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2005.
Yagel, Bibbie and Myron. 15 Minutes to Build s Stronger Marriage. Illinois, Tyndale House Publishers, 1995.
Yogev, Sara. For Better or for Worse…But Not for Lunch: Making Marriage Work in Retirement. New York, Contemporary Books, 2002.
Additional Bibliography
Ash Christopher (2004). Married for God. IVP
Ash, Christopher (2000). Marriage: Sex in the service of God. IVP
Balswick & Piper (2003). Relationship empowerment parenting. Baker
Brooks, R., & Goldstein, S. (2001). Raising resilient children. Contemporary Books
Campbell, Ken. (2003). Marriage and family in the biblical world. IVP
Carder, Dave. (1992). Torn asunder. Moody Press
Carter, Betty & McGoldrick, Monica. (2013). The changing family life cycle, 4th Ed., Allyn & Bacon
Clapp, Rodney. (1993). Families at the crossroads. IVP
Conway, Jim & Sally (1991). Traits of a lasting marriage. IVP
Eggerichs, Emerson (2004). Love and respect. Integrity
Garland & Garland (2007). Flawed families of the Bible. Brazos
Garland Diana (1999). Family ministry. IVP
Glass, Shirley (2003). Not “just friends.” Free Press
Gray, John (1992). Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Harper
Harley, Williard (1994). His needs, her needs. Revell
Hetherington, Mavis, & Kelly, John (2002). For better or for worse. Norton
Holeman, Virginia Todd. (2004). Reconcilable differences. IVP
Keller, Timothy. (2011). The meaning of marriage. Hodder & Stoughton
Lamana, Mary-Ann & Reidman, A. (2006). Marriages and families. 9th Ed. Thomson.
Lester, Andrew (1998). It takes two. Westminster John Knox.
Linamen, Karen, & Holland, Linda (1998). Working women, workable lives. Shaw
Markman, H., Stanley, S. & Blumberg, S. Fighting for your marriage. Jossey Bass
Mason, Mike (1985). The mystery of marriage. Oregon: Multomah
Morley, Patrick (1994). Two-part harmony (“Couples’ devotion” in HB). Nelson
Nichols, Michael (1995). The lost art of listening. Guildford
Parrott, Les & Leslie (1995). Saving your marriage before it starts. Zondervan.
Penner, Cliff & Joyce (1992). Sex facts. Word
Peterson, Eugene (1976). Like dew your youth. Eerdsman
Schnarch, David (1997). Passionate marriage. Owl Books
Smalley, Gary, & Trent, John (1988). Five languages of love. Focus on the Family
Spencer & Tracy (2007). Marriage at the crossroads. IVP
Spring, Janis (1996). After the affair. Harper
Stevens, Paul (1986). Married for good. IVP
Stevens, Paul (1989). Marriage spirituality. IVP